


Can't lose you

by kitbug



Series: The Tribulations of Andi Ryder [2]
Category: Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: F/M, jaal confronts akksul, ryder has anxiety about losing people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 19:04:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12488728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitbug/pseuds/kitbug
Summary: Ryder is less than happy about being asked to do nothing while Jaal has a gun pointed at his face, and let's him know about it.  They work through it.  A take on the aftermath of Jaal's personal mission, Flesh and Blood.





	Can't lose you

“Jaal!”

Andi’s panicked yell was drowned out by Akksul’s shot.  It was like time slowed to a crawl as she watched the bullet soar.  Jaal flinched as it grazed his cheek before it lodged into the wall behind them.  Her blood roared in her ears, her heart pounded in her chest, and it took every ounce of will she had to not shoot Akksul where he stood.

Movement above drew her attention.  The ranks of Roekaar watching from the cliff above murmured to each other.  One threw down his gun and walked away.  Then another, and several more.  Within seconds, the gallery above emptied, faith in their cause lost by the cold-blooded attempt to gun down one of their own.

Akksul raised a hand to them, but couldn’t seem to find the words to stop them.

“The alien is not the monster here,” Jaal said, still maintaining his composure.  

Akksul stared at the ground, unable to meet the other angara’s gaze.  “I love my people.”

“And they loved you.”  Jaal gave Barand a small push towards the cavernous entrance.  Teviint followed close behind him.  “C’mon, let’s get you home.”

Andi stared heatedly at the fallen Roekaar leader before holstering her shotgun and jogging after him.  She fell into step beside Jaal and couldn’t keep the waver out of her voice.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.  Thanks.”  The clipped tone of his voice betrayed how badly his wound burned.  He raised a hand to it and gave a pained grunt.

They walked in silence back to the landing pad outside the Forge, each lost in their own thoughts.  Lathoul rose to greet them on arrival, hardly worse for the wear of getting shot.  He ribbed his sister, having apparently forgiven her rash actions.  Their mothers approached, and Jaal took Andi off to the side to give them a moment.

“Thank you for trusting me,” he said, looking out over the forest below.  “Killing Akksul would have only made the Roekaar stronger.”

“He  _ shot you _ ,” Andi bit out.  Despite her best attempts to get herself under control, she was still shaken, furious.

Jaal turned to her, surprised by her tone.  “I’m glad he did.  It exposed how far he’d fallen.”

“I was really worried--”

He cupped her cheek in one hand and bowed his forehead to hers.  “It will heal.  All scars do.”

“That’s not what I-- you--”  She backed away out of the embrace, shaking her head.  Tears stung at the edges of her vision, threatening to spill over.  “You could have  _ died _ , Jaal.  And you insisted I just stand there a-and let him-- Were you really willing to let him kill you over this?”

Jaal met her stare evenly and nodded.  “If that’s what it took to show what he’d become, yes.”

Andi scrubbed at her eyes as they flooded over.  “I can’t-- I  _ can’t _ watch someone else that I care about die.  I can’t watch as you throw your life away.  I  _ won’t _ .”

His gaze softened, and he sighed.  “That’s not what I--”  He reached for her, only to have his hand knocked to the side.

She shook her head and turned away from him.  “You should go see your family before we leave.  I’ll see you back on the Tempest,” she said and fled the docks.

Andi left it to Vetra to debrief the others. She all but threw her suit into the maintenance locker and retreated to her room.

To her surprise, several hours passed and Jaal hadn’t tried to see her.  She knew he was on the ship, SAM informed her of his return.  She stubbornly refused to seek him out though, and instead busied herself reading reports from the crew and the Nexus.  Hunger eventually overpowered her desire for solitude, and she went to the galley for a sandwich.  She found him there, preparing his own meal.  She stood quietly in the open doorway, debating if she should say anything to him or retreat back to her room.  That debate ended when he turned and saw her standing there.  

Unable to think of anything meaningful to say, she settled for a small wave and a, “hey.”

He nodded back.  “Hello, my… special friend.”  

Silence hung heavy in the air around them as she started gathering ingredients, and he went back to his own preparation.  Andi knew she should say something, anything.  She’d overreacted earlier; she knew that.  But that didn’t stop her from feeling like her world would crash if something happened to him.

She chewed her lip as she cut slices off a hunk of some kind of processed protein.  She didn't know what exactly it was, nor did she want to.  “Hey, um…”  She paused as he glanced at her with an unreadable expression, and the apology she’d been working out in her head fell flat.  “I-- How’s the face wound?”

“It’s alright.  Lexi treated it.”  The corners of Jaal’s mouth quirked slightly, and his volume increased with pride.  “I think the scar will be impressive.”

The brief sign of good humor lifted a weight she hadn’t even realized off her heart.  She gave him a wry grin.  “Yeah?  Now you’ll look even more badass.”

His blue eyes lit up at her smile.  “And more attractive to… our female friends?”

Andi snorted loudly.  “No doubt.  Just look at all the dates Drack gets.”

Jaal chuckled, and they finished making their meals in a much more companionable silence.  When she finished putting all her ingredients away, he took a seat at the table and waved her over.  “Can you stay and talk some more?”

Unease settled in the pit of her stomach, but she nodded and slid in beside him against the wall.  She waited quietly, as he seemed to be gathering his words as he took a bite of his nutrient paste.  She chewed on a bite of her sandwich, and tried to will her anxiety into submission.  She startled when he finally spoke.

“I want you to know that I’m not sorry for what I did.  I will do what I must for my people, no matter the cost.” he said quietly, but firmly.  “But, I do apologize for worrying you, and for putting you into that position.  I did not think about how you might feel about it, and you were right to be angry with me.”

The food seemed like lead in her mouth, and she swallowed harshly.  She shook her head.  “I--Thank you, but I… I overreacted.  You did what you had to, and it worked out.  I just-- I lost so many people, between leaving the Milky Way, and what’s happened since.  If anything happened to you, I…”  The words died on her lips, and she shrugged helplessly.  “I panicked.  Sorry.”

“I know.”  His arm slid around her shoulders, and she leaned against his side.  “It probably would have helped if I’d told you he was a terrible shot,” he said ruefully.

Andi dug an elbow into his ribs hard enough to make him grunt.  “ _ That _ would’ve been relevant information.”

“Heh, sorry.”

“By the way, I got a note from Gil,” she said, changing the subject.  “He fixed the transponder, so we can find the Archon’s flagship.  I’d… really like it if you were on the mission.”

Jaal blinked down at her, surprised.  “Are you sure?”

She nodded.  “We need to be quiet and precise, so, that kind of eliminates Drack, Peebee and Liam.  And, I… I don’t have a good feeling about this.  I’d feel better knowing you’re coming.”  She gave him a pointed look.  “So long as you don’t stand in front of anyone’s guns and tell me I can’t shoot them.”

He sighed.  “You are  _ not _ going to let that go, are you?”

“Nnnnnnnnnope,” she hummed and then turned serious.  “So… will you come on the mission?”

“Of course I will.  I don’t know that you could keep me off that one.”

“Thank you.”  Andi slipped away and gathered her plate of half-eaten food.  “I should send a report to the Nexus regarding the Roekaar and see Gil about that transponder.  I’ll let you know how we’ll proceed after.”

**Author's Note:**

> Forever and a day ago, I was prompted to write Andi's first fight with Jaal as a couple. Technically they aren't a couple yet, but that's only because they won't admit it. Anyway, finally buckled down and finished this.
> 
> Tumblargh is [here](http://kittlesandbugs.tumblr.com) if you wanna drop by and say hi.


End file.
